so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
