i just had sex bonerless
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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