Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize