so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
should my penis look like a turkey
I'm at about main and main street
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
