Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
