Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
