every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
