At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
