I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
