if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
