Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
