matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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