Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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