so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
50% drunk capacity currently
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
