I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
