I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Randomize
