if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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