I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
