i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
