Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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