He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
you never un-have a 4some
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