Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
