Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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