dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
where are you?
Hypothermia
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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