community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize