Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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