He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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