Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
