she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
