If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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