I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
