just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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