did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
