you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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