i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i need some magic done to my vagina
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
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