i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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