I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
