those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
