have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
