He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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