My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize