Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
