I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
