just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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