Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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