I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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