I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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