At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
