Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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