I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
