On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
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High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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