I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
