remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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