she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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