i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
wow bdsm is so cute
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
