Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize