is wine microwaveable?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
