I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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