I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
